My meeting with God...

These past couple weeks I have went through a full range of emotions, everything from sad to angry, heartbroken to wrath, and everything in between. I had a minor meltdown with my last post, and for that I would apologize to my Savior Jesus, for my lapse in self-control. It usually takes a long time for me to get really angry, but this time, it was fast, which reminds me of several Scripture references about being slow to anger, but they did not seem to want to take root in my heart while I was writing.

The other day I sat down to gather Scripture references so that I could be justified in my anger. God had another plan for me. As I sat, in my self-righteous puddle, looking for all the condemning verses I could find, God said, ENOUGH, this is what I want you to see. Instead of the bunch of "your going to hell verses" I was searching for, all I found were forgive your enemy verses, pray for those who mistreat you,  love your neighbor, do good to those who have harmed you, ect ect. Needless to say, this is not what I was hoping for or looking for. I looked to God and told him I wasn't ready to forgive, he looked at me and said I forgave you, go do the same.

I haven't completely forgiven the person I was angry at, after all I am but a work in progress, but I know one day I will be able to look at this person and love them the way God would have me to. In the meantime, God, in his infinite wisdom, reminded me of  1Corinthians 13 which just happened to be a part of my reading this morning. My God is so amazing !

1 Corinthians 13:1-13

13 If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body [a]to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 [b]bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8 Love never fails; but if there are gifts of [c]prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part; 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. 11 When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I [d]became a man, I did away with childish things. 12 For now we see in a mirror [e]dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. 13 But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the [f]greatest of these is love.

You have got to be kidding me !!!

The past couple weeks, this has become my new mantra. I mean seriously, some of the things I have heard are just ASTOUNDING, so I decided to write a little on my blog, because hey, what better way to get it out of your system. Without going into to much detail, I find myself at a complete loss to explain the absolute insanity of the things I have heard from a certain individual who shall remain anonymous. I mean, really ???? This person seems to come from an entirely different universe as the rest of humanity and as far as I'm concerned should return there as quickly as possible. POSTHASTE !!!! The commentary spewing forth from the above mentioned individual borders on sociopath rantings of an unstable mind.  No, check that, they ARE the rantings from an unstable mind. I mean gimme a break! Since I seem to be fairly disgruntled at the moment, I will now remind myself to breath a couple times. There, some semblance of calmness will now prevail.
Just for the record, above un-named person, just because you know some 10 dollar words and can vocalize them with an extreme amount of sarcasm, does not make you smart, its just makes you a jerk, out of touch with reality, and in need of some serious psychological counseling.
Since I cant say any of this to your face, maybe by some slim chance you will read this and KNOW its about you and GET A GRIP!! I even considerately made sure to use some big words so that you could understand me. I may not know as many big words as you, but Im sure you will get the point.
Believe it or not, its not all about you and your insane desire to control everything through the deflection of your own outrageous behavior. Get some help!

I may have more to say about this in the future, or I may not. Please whoever reads this be praying for my heart to change and to become more Christ like when dealing with the barrage of idiocy I have heard from the person mentioned above.
Thankyou!

Whats Normal? A Pessimists Rant

These past couple weeks have me questioning what is normal. I'm finding that normalcy is a highly subjective thing. What may be normal for one person is not the norm for another. What may be normal for one family will probably not be normal for another family. What may be normal for a one Country, will not be normal for another. Take for instance the freedoms we have here in the USA that we are squandering left and right in the name of safety or tolerance. You can go to church without worrying about getting blown up, unlike the churches in Nigeria right now. Or maybe the fact that in this country, we are allowed to have guns, where in other countries, this is not possible. These are rights we are giving away at a maddening pace to keep up with what the "world " says should be the norm.
 I have come to the conclusion that "normal" should be based on what the Bible and God have said it should be and not what our society says it should be. We all have our own ideas of what normal looks like.
 For Instance, in my family we listen to Christian rock music, loudly, we like the sound of a race car motor, and would like to be able to go the the drag-strip and watch the cars zoom down the lane, we have loud arguments and debates, we deal with struggles differently. The true question then should be, are your activities and the way you run your life glorifying to God or not? There is nothing that makes my family better than or less "righteous" than someone elses family. Other families don't have a corner on  "this is Godly" just because they don't listen to Christian rock  music, or would never even consider going to a drag race. Families are different and I'm pretty sure that's how God wants it.
As far as individual people go, wow you know God had to have a sense of humor. There are no two people alike. We all seemed  bent to look at things through our own experiences be them good or bad. I grew up in a highly dysfunctional family, Im surprised I actually survived my childhood, and teenage years. While I was growing up I assumed my life was normal, and that every-ones family was similar. When I became a Christian I found out, through the Bible, that my life was anything but normal, based purely on biblical principles. Does that make me better or worse than say, a child who grew up in a Christian home with none of the same issues we had?  I dont think so, as a matter of fact I believe my past experiences have put me in a unique position to be able to witness to people who may have had similar upbringings as my own, the same as someone who grew up in a Christian home has a unique ministry. I submit that I would much rather talk to someone I can identify with, then someone who would judge me because my experiences are not their own.
Unfortunately, alot of good Christians think theirs is the only way, there is no room for anything outside their "norm". You couldn't possibly be "used by God" or "righteous enough" because you don't do things a certain way or behave or listen to the correct music or whatever it may be that makes them think they have an edge. All I have to say is, where is that in the Bible? Maybe I'm being harsh, and according to the "Christian norm" women are supposed to be all soft and sweet and nurturing and a dozen other things I dont seem to be able to get a grasp on. Im weary with trying to be like some other peoples idea simply because they seem to be so "normal" or more "Godly". God created me for a purpose, it isnt going to be the same as someone elses purpose, he put my family together the way he wanted, we have struggles that make us grow or fall and have to pick ourselves back up again with Gods help. Quite frankly, how in the world do Christians expect to grow if everything is Sunshine and rainbows? There is no growth without struggles. Look at the plants, the have to push through the dirt to the sun, they get snowed on, froze, dug up, but they just keep growing through all the struggles and set backs.
In the end, I'm glad my family isn't perfect, then I would have nothing to look forward to when Jesus comes back. I mean why look to Heaven if life is perfect here? We aren't supposed to achieve heaven on earth, we are supposed to look forward to our Savior coming back and making things perfect.