Happy New Years! Its "Do Over time!!!"

So I have been thinking alot about all this resolution stuff I hear going around, and I for one have never really made any solid commitments one way or another on New Years day for doing or not doing anything in particular.. Did you catch that? I hope you did because I think I just confused myself! Basically what this means is I am to chicken to say or commit to something I may regret or break later, so I decided to commit to not making any resolutions I don't think I can keep. Does this mean I will make any resolutions? No, I will not, because as sure as I am that the sun will rise I am sure that as soon as I say I will or wont do something I'm gonna do or not do it. You may be lost by now, if so go back and read it again. I had to read it twice just to make sure I am making some sort of sense. If you are not lost, good for you please take a moment an explain it to us.
In lue of making "resolutions" per say, I have decided that I am going to call this my "Do Over List". Please feel free to use this term as your own. Here are some things I would like to "Do Over" this year:

Decluttering My House:
This is a very big one for me as I am a consummate collector of all things, which results in massive amounts of clutter. I tried some "decluttering" techniques last year and some of it went well, and some of it wasnt so great, therefore decluttering will be on my "Do Over List". I have huge amounts of "stuff" to go through and will depend on the Lord to help me be brutal with clutter.

Organizing my desk area:
This is a constant battle and no matter how many times I say Im going to clean it up it never gets done very well. I suppose I could blame it on the kids and the husband, but that wont fix the problem. Being totally un-organized is a sure sign of insanity, and insanity defined is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. With this in mind I will attempt a new organizational plan..not sure what it is yet, but will give whatever it happens to be a shot.

Husband Attention Time:
This is something I have had alot of trouble with recently, like say for the past couple years. It seems as though I always have time for everything BUT my husband, which should not be. Since I am homeschooling, a good part of the day consists of dealing with the inevitable " Mom, what do I do here?" questions, which is probably the bulk of the time I spend going from child to child. The other thing that tends to take my time and sap my energy is cleaning the house, or coercing the kids to do it, whatever the case may be. My husband needs to have my undivided, non-resentful attention occasionally so this is something I will be "doing Over" during the day. Pray for me.

Servant Hearted:
I really need to work on this, as I am learning I am not as Servant Hearted as I had originally thought I was. Oh I have no problem giving things, but try and volunteer me for something, watch it, your going to get hurt. This year I would like to try to serve my family and friends a bit better than I have, and not be so...so...mean, for lack of a better word, when my husband or a friend "accidentally" volunteers me for something I don't really want to do. Please pray for me..again.

I am sure if I sat and thought about it I could come up with some more things to "Do Over" this year, but I wouldn't want to overwhelm myself, or you with all the prayer requests I would be needing. By the way, I started up my Craft Business again, which without the help and prodding of my daughter,  would not have gotten done, so if you don't mind, you can pray about that also:)

Happy New Years!

Random thoughts......

This past week was a rough one. Usually I would have been helping out with our churches VBS program, but I was not feeling well and decided to wait till the end of the week to help. As I was sitting around in my very quiet home (all or most of the kids were helping out with VBS this week), I decided to read a book called the" Fruit Of Her Hands" by Nancy Wilson, its about respect and the Christian woman. I never thought I had a problem with respect, until I read this book. It was harsh ! Some of the things I have said and done have not been very respectful. This is a hard thing to find out. I think I knew some of it in the back of my mind, but had not made the connections between my dis-respect and the way my kids are dis-respectful. While reading the book I made some resolutions to practice respecting, in particular my husband. I also realized that my lack of respect was a direct result of my not trusting God. All this time, I was fairly certain that trusting God was not an issue for me, but it is. He either is who he says he is or he is not. I believe he is exactly who he claims to be, and that I CAN trust him with the issues in my life. This is almost always easier to say then to do. We show it everyday in different ways and in different areas of life. It reminds me of a poem I once read called Let Go and let God, because if we don't trust him how can we let go? I have been so angry with my husband over things that are big and small and it is ALL because I did not trust God ! Not only that, if I didn't trust God how in the world was I ever going to trust my husband the way I should???? The bible commands me to be respectful to my husband, regardless of whether I think he deserves it or not. This flies in the face of currant societal norms, and is very difficult when there is no trust. The point of all this is if you truly, truly trust God the way you should as a Christian, then respect will not be so difficult because you KNOW God is concerned with your everyday journey. You KNOW he is kind and compassionate. You CAN trust him with your marriage, husband, children, work, friends, your LIFE!! So, Let Go and Let God!

LET GO AND LET GOD!

As children bring their broken toys     with tears for us to mend, I brought my broken dreams to God, because He was my friend. But then, instead of leaving Him, in peace, to work alone; I hung around and tried to help, with ways that were my own. At last, I snatched them back and cried, "How can you be so slow?" "My child," He said, "What could I do? You never did let go."

It's Time to Rumbleeee! Wrestling 2010

So wrestling season has started (last month actually) in the Upriver area and this will be the second year that Joshua has participated in this most strenuous of sports. I began the year with high hopes of being able to go to most of the matches, as last year I was only able to attend one tournament and some of the practices. Don't get me wrong, I totally had a great time visiting my daughter in Australia (the first time I had EVER been out of the country), but I was looking forward to being able to cheer on Joshua for this years tournament season.

Having missed the first match of the season, we had already decided to go to the St Maries match the next week. I had determined there was no way anyone was getting me out of bed at 3:00 o'clock in the morning to drive 3 hours to get to Bonners Ferry by 7:30 am for weigh-ins. With St Maries only 20 or so miles away,  I didn't have to get out of my cozy warm bed until like 6:00 which suited me just fine. So I loaded up the kids and off we went. It was only Alyssa, Joshua, and I with Alyssa having signed up to help in the kitchen.

Any way, we got there in one piece, Alyssa rambled on into the kitchen, and I proceeded to try and get Joshua all signed in to wrestle. Last year my husband had done all this because I was gone to visit my daughter, so I wasnt entirely sure what to do. I had no idea what class he was in, so with Joshua in tow, I went from table to table several times trying to find out where he was supposed to sign in at. After a trip around the mats we finally tracked down the table for his class. Now I don't really know alot about wrestling so this is all pretty new to me. We did manage to get it all taken care of and off to the weight room we went.

In the weight room, my composure started to crumble, not that I was all that composed to begin with, just what little I had went out the door in a hurry. For the previous week I had Joshua on a "diet" of sorts to make sure he would come in below 65 pounds. For some reason I had it in my mind that he would be in the same class he was in last year. Needless to say this did not happen. We stripped him down and put him on the scales and he came to 64.2 pounds, I was like good job, he is under 65 yippee! Unfortunatly, this year, he was put in the Schoolboy class and the lowest weight class on the paper was 70 pounds, at least that was my impression. Knowing nothing about wrestling, and only looking at the paper, I assumed he would be wrestling kids from 70 to 75 pounds, thats like 4 pounds up to 10 pounds more than he was, I was not happy. I was like are you sure he is in this class, there isnt anyone under 70 pounds for him to wrestle? Then I made the huge mistake of saying outloud, to the weigh-in coach, with my son standing there, "he is gonna get clobbered". This is not a very good confidence buidling comment for young men, and was only the first mistake I made for the day. I immediatly marched over to where our coach was and proceeded to complain outloud to him about the unfairness of the situation, that was mistake number 2. Our coach just happens to be the pastor at my church and now knows that I do not handle sports well.
Yes, for years now I have harbored the terrible secret that all though I am not a sports fanatic, I do tend to get a little, intense, for lack of a better word. Well the secret is now out,  I am a maniac when it comes to my kids and sports. Maybe this is why I have a tendancy to "Just Say No" when the kids ask me if they can play some sport all thier friends are participating in. It has been easier this way. I remember a couple times during baseball season with Caleb, when Im sure they would have asked me to leave if I hadnt calmed down a little. I do not do sports well, this is why my husband wont let me watch football, which is the only sport I really like. I spent the rest of the day in a bit of a tizzy, Im glad our coach was working the mats and the kitchen so he couldnt see my attitude most of the day. It didnt stop there though, not only did I get upset about things with my kid, I got upset about things for our other team kids also. I have a tendancy to be somewhat protective of the kids who are on the team, I did that during baseball also. You would think after my baseball years I would know better then get involved in sports again.
Well, we sat there most of the day, as Joshuas class is almost the last class to wrestle, so I had the whole day to sit and stew and be perturbed. I am truly surprised Brian didnt tell me to go home at some point, I would have if I were him. Finally they call Joshuas weight class, I have no idea how I understood what they were saying as the person speaking in the microphone seemed to have it half way in his mouth everytime he spoke. Reminded me a bit of Charlie browns teacher. They had thier little meeting and out they came, and I missed it all. I missed his first match because I couldnt find him in the crowd (see picture above). When I did find him it was all over and he had lost, then I thought he had wrestled without a coach and was upset again. I stomped my way around the mats and found Brian of course, once again proving that I do not handle sports well.  My attitude had deteriated to the point where I think I actually wanted to smack someone. This is not a good place for me to be. Not that I would actually do that or anything, but the feelings were there for all to see.

Anyway, everyone knew I was upset now, not that I was trying to do that or anything. I was not gracious or kind or sweet or any of the things God would have me be, so I determined right then I would be better next time. Joshua was immediatly affected by my poor sportmanship and I was not feeling to good about myself either at that point. We waited for his next round of wrestling, I followed him to the room, then watched for him to come out so that I would know where he was, then followed him to the mats. I made sure he had a coach, and proceeded to explain to him that he needed to kill the other guy. Not literally, mind you, just no Mr. Nice guy, this isnt practice, this is not play time. I dont know what came over me, John was very patient with me and I moved out of the way, which is very hard for a maniac sports mom to do. Joshua didnt win that match but at least he didnt get pinned that time. I was very proud of him.

By this time my husband had shown up to help with moving the mats after the tournament and I was able to get a little balance, not much, but a little. He can be a stablizing force for me when no one else can. He kept me calm for the most part the rest of the time I was there. I only had maybe 2 more episodes after that, both of which my husband pointed out to me, where not good for Joshuas moral or confidence. He walked into his last match already feeling defeated because of my attitude. I tried to change it but the damage was already done. I determined that I would not do the same thing at the next match in Kellogg, and for the most part I was ok. I did have a minor melt down when we went in to weigh him and they made us get out of line to clip his nails, which I thought were fine. That took another 20 minutes to get done, so I walked out with a bit of an attitude, again. I don't know why I cant just be mellow about this stuff. My husband calmed me down mostly and I dont think I had any other melt downs that day, I was rather intense though and worried about everyone elses kids getting to the mats ect. but for the most part I handled the Kellogg match much better than the St Maries match which is a very good thing.
Our next match is in Sandpoint, one of those get up at 3am to get there by 7am  matches so we will have to see how well I handle that. Hopefully I will just sleep through the whole thing and not have to worry about being a bad sport or getting upset. My husband handles these things way better than me, and Joshua will benefit from his calming influence. My prayer will be that I will be more supportive and less uptight and that I would be able to encourage my son to do the best he can and have fun. I think I should probably pray before I leave the house next time, and not wait till I have a fit. I hope my son will forgive me one day and be able to walk away from this experience with alot better attitude then I have had so far.

Paul Bunyan Days 2010 .......Totally Worth It !

Yesterday was the annual Paul Bunyan Days Fireworks Show. I will typically spend the whole year, after the last one, trying to figure out a way to get out of going the next time. The excuses come more rapid fire when there are about 2 weeks left to go before the great and glorious event.  I will usually pray for rain or sickness, which I know sounds silly, but the thought of trying to get through a crowd of about 12,000 to watch fireworks does nothing for me except make me cringe, not to mention trying to get out of the parking lot afterward. This year, it rained. I was ecstatic! I thought for sure I would get out of it! Not! It stopped raining at some point and the sun actually made an appearance as if to mock me saying Ha...HA HA!  When I found out my BFF was sick I was like, honey, I can stay with her and keep her company, I'm sure she will be lonely! He was like, Not! Foiled again! Not even sympathy for my friend would sway my husband this year.  The excuses I used ranged from I will be to cold,  to my friend is not going, why do I have to.